You finally transitioned from scouting out potentials to locking in a serious long-term sugar arrangement. When seated across from your new beau the question finally comes up regarding allowance: Exactly how much money should your ask for?
Before this conversation you likely browsed Reddit, checked out some Tumblr diaries and consulted your sugar sisters. You know that waiting tables can only get you so far, and sugar can add that extra umph to get you through each month.
You blurt out a figure and your new partner displays a surprised expression. All you hear is: I thought you would ask for more? Fret not sugar babe! Let our Honey Daddy specialists walk you through recovering the allowance you deserve.
Money? What Money? Act Normal.
First of all, any hints of frustration, fit-throwing, or back-handed insults will only make you feel worse after the fact. Consider Honey Daddy (or Mama) either a) genuinely surprised; or b) relieved that you gave a reasonable number.
There are a few ways to feel-out the situation. If money genuinely seems to be of no issue to this individual some clear early signs are:
- Pricey restaurant or shopping visits with no question of the final bill amount.
- A business-focused individual who is open about having more than one sugar connection.
- Someone who’s been open from the start about having past successful sugar relationships.
An individual who’s sensitive about spending looks for coupons, discounts, or shortcut ways to kind of deliver the sugar is not what you want. As result we call this person a splenda daddy. He/she tries but *sigh* the experience is simply not the same.
Gauge what he/she says after the comment. Does he/she throw out other numbers? Do they invite you to ask for more? Or as a result, is the subject quickly rushed in an ‘end of discussion’ kind of way?
If your new beau is totally comfortable with a higher number, tacking on anywhere from $200-500 more is safe for new relationships. Adding a grand or two is all-clear if you’re on the upper-level of sugaring.
Most of all, remember to keep a cool, calm composure. This is a business deal, not brain surgery. You knew going in that sugar dating means all the benefits of your basic boyfriend-girlfriend (etc.) relationship only with the added bonus of financial support.
Never be afraid to discuss what you need. If finishing a degree or launching a business are in your future, you’ve gotta strike while the iron is hot.
End With A High Note
In addition to the natural ebb and flow of any relationship is a sense of give-and-take. Agreeing to upping-the sugar flow is entitled to thank you’s and 1-2 more date nights in exchange for their kindness. Surprising him/her with a small gift as a token of appreciation never hurts either.
Conversation that abruptly ends with the one shot and that’s it approach, deserves asking for time to assess your needs and pick up the conversation at a later date. Likely over dinner (on your dime) and drinks. This shows that you still are interested in maintaining the relationship for the time being. Your needs have not been met and are worthy of a focused follow-up discussion.
Consider it a red flag in the event that your allowance is increased only for a limited amount of time, or if your request leads to a decline in sugar funds altogether. Consider it time to find your next sugar sponsor and label your current partner as just a friend.
On a final note, your happiness is key in a sugar paring and if you’ve found a partner who fits, the dollar amount is nothing compared to your happiness!
What advice would you give to those having their first allowance talk?